Permission: Denied! – Audible.com Review

PERMISSION: DENIED!
Image via WikipediaRant

So I find out I can download Seth Godin’s new book, in audio format, for free. I go there and it’s actually Audible.com, so I fill out their required info, and get to the download page.

It’s audio. I’m expecting something I can use, such as an mp3 file. But no….

They want to download their ‘management software’. They have a very misleading box where you click on how you plan to listen to the file. Regardless of what you click, you always get taken… to their ‘you gotta download our software management’ page.

So I figure, ‘These guys just want access to my pc.’ And I decide that I don’t want them in my house, so I go looking through the account settings for a ‘cancel my account’ link. Can’t find one, so after about 20 minutes of looking around I go to the ‘HELP’ link and type in the following:

I want my account deleted. I feel that I was misled about your company and I want all my account info deleted.
My desire for this is only ENHANCED by the lack of any readily available info on how to do this.
I WILL NOT download your audio player when simple mp3 should work JUST FINE.
I feel like you have totally misrepresented yourself to me and as a result of being sent here by an indirect method from Seth Godin, whom I have in the past respected, I will now stop paying attention to him as well.
Permission based indeed. All you guys seem to want is your software on my pc.
Jon Knight

When I hit the submit button, this is what I get:

Need to Cancel Your Audible Membership?

We’re sorry for the inconvenience, but the email option is no longer available.

We want to provide you with the best possible customer experience, even if you decide to cancel your membership.

You may either contact us via our toll-free number or cancel your membership online at Make Changes To My Membership ***.

Please contact us at: 888-283-5051
Hours:
Monday-Friday 9AM-10PM EST
Saturday 10AM-7PM EST

The toll-free number would allow us to:

– Address any technical or usability issues that might be hindering your use of Audible
– Make sure you know about all of the entitlements of Audible
– Get your feedback, so that we can continuously improve the service

We appreciate your business and value you as a customer!

The Audible Team

I clicked the link there, which is supposed to allow me to do this online and I get errors. Nice work…

Just like the idiots at Alltel, these bozos give you an option in a drop down menu and then tell you they don’t support that. Following is my interpretation of their sorry(ass) page:

So you want to cancel your membership, huh? Too damned bad, we don’t let you do that.If you really want to cancel your membership you’re gonna have to take time out of your already overbooked life and call us first, because we’re gonna do and say everything possible to make you stay with us. We’re giving you a link to click here which will not work, regardless of how many times you try, so you may as well just call us so we can give you all the (HARD SELL) reasons why you need to stay with such a shiftless bunch of folks like us.
We appreciate your business, and we’re not letting go of you without a fight.

I am Jon, and this is the kind of schlock that should be wiped from the web.
/rant

PERMISSION: DENIED