Good Grief, Raymond Briggs
Sometimes these things are so cheesy that they make me smile. This one in particular is rather absurd. It’s the usual run-of-the-mill scammer email. Outrageous sums of cash involved. Dead guy, no kids or spouse, and he was an orphan. Need your help getting the cash out of the country. You know, the usual stuff.
But these guys threw in a couple of twists. First, the cash is in London, England and not some country you’ve never heard of in Africa or Asia. And second, there’s the bit about how in England, unclaimed cash must by law be used to fund the military. Read on, for a bit of a chuckle. As usual, Scam Flags in BOLD:
FROM THE OFFICE OF:BARCLAYS BANK PLC.
1ST FLOOR, 10, HATTON GARDE,
LONDON, EC1N 8DN,UNITED KINGDOM.
I am Mr.Raymond Briggs, Senior Account Officer, Barclays Bank Plc,London – United Kingdom. I am writing following an opportunity in my office that will be of immense benefit to both of us. I am contacting you with respect to inherit a portfolio amounting to $35,520,000USD (Thirty Five Million, Five Hundred and Twenty Thousand United States Dollar) deposited by a German Merchant named Mr.Lan. Jaeger. On the 18th of October 2002, Mr. Jaeger deposited $12,000,000 USD(Twelve Million United States Dollars) under our portfolio management department for four years and the deposit matured on the 18th of October 2006 with over 196% growth which amounted to a total of $35,520,000 USD(Thirty Five Million, Five Hundred and Twenty Thousand United States Dollar).The account has been dormant and unclaimed due to unavailability of a next of kin/relation to claim his money.Mr. Lan Jaeger,
What’s this space doing here? I don’t know. It was here when I got the email. So far, we’ve seen missing spaces, the repetition of a huge amount of cash, bad punctuation. What’s next?
has since passed away without stating his next of kin because he deposited the funds in our establishment at a point he was finalizing divorcing his wife and had no kids coupled with the fact that he was an orphan, this funds has since mature and the roll-over on the funds has also expired. This sum of $35,520,000 USD (Thirty Five Million, Five Hundred and Twenty Thousand United States Dollar) is still in my possession in my Bank lifeless and unnoticed because there will never be a claim on the funds and all material and immaterial documents and certificates relating to the funds is also in my possession.According to the banking law and guidelines here in london, stipulates that at the expiration of six (6) years such funds will be revert to the ownership of the Government for financing military operations, such as purchasing of arms and ammunitions for the military. In order to avert this negative development.
Hey! Another space for no reason. At least this one was preceded by a period (in the middle of the sentence… I can see it now, Scammer 1 says to his buddy,”Can you proofread this for mistakes?” Scammer 2 says,”You have an empty space here! Put a period at the end of the paragraph.”
I will like to seek for your permission as a foreigner to stand as the next of kin to Mr. Lan Jaeger. so that the fruits of this old man’s labour will not be use for financing weapons which will further enhance the courses of war in the world in general. Since, It is not compulsory that the next-of-kin/relation must be a blood relation to the deceased. The money will be paid into your account for us to share in the ratio of 60% for me and 30% for you as gratification for assistance rendered and the balance of 5% for will be responsible for the major /trivial expenses incurred if any during the course of the transfer, while 5% will be given to any Orphanage home in your country. Thereafter, I will visit your country for sharing according to the percentage indicated. There is no risk at all as all the paper work for this project will be done by my attorney and with my position as the (Senior Account Officer, Barclays Bank Plc, London) guarantees the successful execution of this project. Upon your response, I shall then provide you with further information’s and modalities that will help you understand the transaction. You should observe utmost confidentiality, and rest assured that this project would be most profitable for both parties because I shall require your assistance to invest my share in your country.Please, reply immediately with your full name and contact details on e-mail:,(email@example.com)
Blah blah blah blah, the usual line of crud these guys try to feed you. The split, including a charity giveaway, the guarantee that nothing can go wrong, we’ve heard all this before.
Awaiting your urgent reply.
God Bless You,
Mr. Raymond Briggs.
Senior Account Officer,
Barclays Bank Plc
Once again, we find that there are just too many mistakes to be believed. Not to mention the original premise: A German guy deposits funds in a British management firm, dies, and now this guy wants our help stealing the money. Of course if we help him, not only do we become rich, but we keep all that cash out of the government’s hands. The government who, by law, must use that cash to fund war efforts. Good grief.
I am Jon, and God Bless You, Mr Briggs.